Why guy doesnt call

By Amanda Chatel. By Amy Horton. By Lyndsie Robinson. By Kate Ferguson. By Sarah Burke. Search Search for:. About Contact Privacy Policy. Facebook Instagram Pinterest. What's the deal? By Giulia Simolo. Just that simple. Women want closure. They want an explanation. Well my husband hasnt called me since new years eve. We are having some issues and he is currently working in another country. We have been married for a year and a half. When he first took this job we would talk 10 times a day.

Im guessing that he has checked out mentally? I decided not to call to see if he would get in contact. Sounds like someone else has his attention. Have a talk with him and see if he wants to work on the marriage and let him know that his behavior is not okay in your marriage.

If he is unwilling to change, then you may need to contact a lawyer. I think your advice can be a little harsh. This is why we have such high divorce rates and single parent families. This lady said her husband hadnt called in a week and they are having some issues. Maybe he is in his feelings or in his man cave trying not to react or waiting to come home.

When a guy is just dating he may pull back sometimes to assess his feelings. Sometimes ppl are busy. If its a consistent pattern or he doesnt reply your messages thats bad but if he sometimes givez a few days break in communication thats not so bad. Ignoring someone is emotional blackmail, manipulation, and has no place in a relationship…especially a marriage! Most of the time, the reasons are pretty simple. If you want something more, move on to someone else. I remember a similar situation many years ago.

My boyfriend and I were at an event which was held near the hotel we were staying in. He was tired and I decided to stay out a little later with my best friend. He had fallen asleep. I then went to the front desk to get someone to open the door for me. Long story short…he was in there sleeping. I fussed at him for not opening the door, he apologized and we went on about our business. End of story. You were invited to visit him at the hotel. He fell asleep. Okay… What were you supposed to do?

Go back home? I feel he overreacted. He wanted to break up with you and I feel this was his way out. Ignoring someone is rude and if you all have been together for 2 years, he owes you more than the silent treatment.

Something like this happened to me. I went out the night before and overslept. I was asleep with my cousin in the hotel room and he barged in with security. I was so mad. I felt like it was such an invasion of privacy. I had invited him for breakfast but felt he took it too far. This might be how your guy sees it. Just pull back a little so he doesnt think your too much. He will go back to normal when he sees that action was out of character.

Some men are always scared of being with a woman who they think is a bit crazy. He said he was going out of town to LA to spend time with his family for 5 days.

Does your phone not work in LA? This dumb ass responded that his grandmother died months ago and his mom asked the family to limit cell phone use during their visit and that they might go camping.

Enjoy your trip. I can always tell how intelligent people are by how stupid they think I am. I feel like I need to say something.. We were romantic but we definitely developed a friendship.

He also sent me a birthday gift the day he dropped off. Any advice would help. Try to have a conversation with him about his sudden change in behavior. If he refuses to speak with you about it, move on. There are plenty other men out there who will provide the companionship you crave. Hi, so I met this online… N after one month he proposed me…. Then he was asking for pics etc.. Just be happy you dodged a bullet and keep it moving. Should I wait for him or not?

Live your life. Why does he want you to wait for him — so he can live his? Not now. He would leave so early in the morning and come home very late at night and this continued until the day he had to leave. We later sorted everything out and things have worked out great between us up until recently when he started acting strange and being cold towards me.

It was so obvious that he tried to hide the post from me. Since then, he started calling me once in two days, with no texts or chats. I felt really sad when he said that to me because, he has time for everything else; including watching movies, football matches and so on except for me. This sounds like a long-distance relationship, which in my opinion rarely ever works unless both partners are fully committed.

In my opinion, he has given you plenty reason not to trust him. Use your head and not your heart in this situation. First of all, it seems like he came to visit his brothers and not you. Second, I have a zillion and one cousins and I have yet to call any of them baby. Finally, the fact that he blocked you on the app tells you everything you need to know. Sometimes I get tempted to call him.

I was so happy, then I went ahead to ask him if I could call him now? Also He was sending me snaps of his environment, like he was just outside the police station with a few of his friends. And then I was like okay. He was being so dismissive about it or he was avoiding the conversation. Not sure which. I was like okay what? He says okay I accept all the allegations against me. I just replied okay, enjoy your flight.

I was upset. This went on for 6 days. Calls, messages. Like hEs really pissed off. Arrests and convictions are a matter of public record. Check your local jurisdiction to see if there are any recent arrests or open court cases. Either way, you need to stay far away from him. Met a guy online and have been dating for the last 6mos. Told him at the beginning my life is busy and have always been in long relationships and have a child so not looking for anything heavy and would prefer to casually date and to see where things go.

He has 2 public facing jobs one as a firefighter and a 10yo child and trains at the gym a lot so is very busy. Then the flirtiness pretty much stopped, messaging became sporadic and I was always the one to initiate communication. He said he was tired in the evenings and would pass out early or busy at work and cant be seen on his phone which is fair enough when he is with the public but he can do what he wants when he is at the station, and it didnt seem to be an issue when he was pursuing me for the first few months as he would make time to message a lot and check in.

Over the last couple of months he would message to say good morning but that was mostly it and I was putting in far more on the comms. Then I didnt hear from him for a few hours. So i gave him a call and he said he was on his way to his second job and he would call me as soon as he stopped driving in 15mins and let me know the plan. Another 2 hours went by so I messaged and said I was going to head out to see friends as I hadnt heard from him and assumed he was still going to spend time with his kid who I hadnt met that evening.

He replied and said he was still at his 2nd job and sorry for the lack of organisation and that the night shift had tripped him out, and I replied that I dont mind lack of organisation but I do mind lack of communication especially when i could be seeing friends or family instead. And he just hasnt replied or called since. That was 25 days ago. So frustrating and humiliating that 6mos together meant so little to him that he cant be bothered to message back or even end it properly.

We live quite close to each other and I know I will probably end up bumping into him and have no idea how to react to that. Do I have the right to be annoyed about it? First time online dating so am I expecting too much from someone I met on an app? Should I message him?

Do not call this man. He has moved on and you should as well. He could find 10 minutes to call. Go live your life and find someone who will make you a priority. And NO you do not need closure. Hey Nancy. How often do you see him? He took me home the next morning and kissed me full on, good bye. He had explained that a big job was coming the following week so, I knew he would be busy.

He also has teenagers that take up a lot of his time plus, a family member and kids have now moved in with him temporarily. Quite a lot going on. He did apologize saying things were chaotic. I have had to force myself to not contact him every day like I want. I started talking to a guy that put it out there that he was single with a dog. I ended up having to go to his job for something. He apologized and said he would do better and he asked me to be patient with him since he has a lot going on with work.

He seems like a good guy and I like him. I have a big problem with the communication break down. Should I keep being patient or move on? Actually i met this guy, well he went to school with me years ago, and he recently started wanting to talk to me, so I gave him my number and we started off really good you know. We text constantly. There is a but here though.. He had sex.. And after that well it was more comfortable I could say.. It was good!

I ask him what his plans are, to see if we can maybe hang out, see each other but he always has an excuse. I understand work could be busy but never has time for me. And it keeps getting worse. Can you please help me here!? Idk what to do either. Hi Sabrina, despite your post was very long I got through it. I think that the guy was using you for an ego boost, it seems like he has put you in the category as a side girl sorry to break it to you.

You also mentioned he never spoke to you, throughout all of and that is too long of a time to think there is a potential for a relationship. I understand you have feelings for him but what you have to understand is if he really, wanted to be with you he would have dated you.

And made you his girlfriend. And I will say this to you as a woman that you were wrong sleeping with a married man. You have completely let him know he can have you, when he wants you. Stop putting him on a pedestal and making him your priority, because from where I am standing he has clearly made you an option.

He sounds very immature. He would have taken you a lot more serious, instead o hooking up with models. If I am wrong on that part let me know. Although so much time has passed now, and that you are still in love with him, you should try one last time and let him know that you are into him and that you want to be with him, and that you have feelings for him.

We had a special connection, and I have never been able to find that with anyone else. Do you think you could see me as your woman? And give us a chance for us to get to know one another again?

There it is. You think about what I have said, and get back to me in two weeks and let me know your decision, so I can know whether to hang on to my feelings for you, or for me to hold my head up high and walk away for good this time. That is my advice and thoughts on it. Good luck in your love life. I would like to know what i did wrong or what i did to get soo much bad luck with men.

I live with my boyfriend in a duplex. I did everything he asked all the time. I stopped visiting my family and my one actual friend i had for years just because supposed to be i was never home.

When he used to go to work i would go visit because i felt lonely. I hate being alone. It freaks me out. I changed everything of myself just so he could be happy and he never was. I started cooking and cleaning more often and he was never happy. He always found away to hert my feelings.

But no he was always saying i eat too much or saying im fat that i meed to go run or that i have a big stomach and making me feel worse. He used to give me money for me so i can buy something or eat but now he never has money and hes always talking to other people on Facebook and i found soooooo many women he tqlks n flirts to. And tells them he woke up with feelings of being with them etc.

And he has made me feel like trash. He never has time to call me anymore when he gets off of work not even a txt like he used to but yet he always has time to get on Facebook. He always rubbs in my face the things he gives me but i never do. I could be sick and he would make me get up and make him something or a coffe.

I have had to invite him to eat or the movies so he could go out sonewhere with me. So i want to know what is it that i did wrong? What did i not do just make him happy and he never appreciate. Please help me turn things around or should i just give up and let him go? Hi Perla! What did you do wrong? What would I do if I were you? If YOU are not comfortable with your weight or how you look, make a commitment with yourself that you will slowly but surely improve those areas or things you dislike.

The only person that can make you feel inferior is yourself. If you set yourself a small goal and achieve it you can set a slightly bigger goal and so on… as you go on achieving these goals you are automatically going to start feeling better.

Great Advice Maria! Post this on my mirror!! Some feel intimidated, so… to not look desperate they will not call for two or three days. Now there is one that is not very common but exist. That reason might be you are out of his league for financial reasons or because you are really hot, etc…. I know this post is old and maybe no one will read it.

I went on date with a man who I met through business transactions. He asked me out for lunch and we spent the rest of the day together. He text me all night and than the next day I said hello, there was no response and the next no reply. I said to myself , what the hell. I am better than that. I am open and I try to express this to anyone I am with. If you have to go by some rules or codes of dating I am not a good match. If I am not interested in someone I tell them.

I will have to see him again and when I do, I wont let it bother me. Actions to me speak louder than words. Actions speaks to me — about your creator and who you are. Not answering someone text is rude and shows again what you might expect going forward. Many of you ladies have been waiting months, some years and some minutes. You are much better than that. If he wants you , you wont have to chase him. You wont have to wait for his next call or text. Never put all your eggs in one basket.

Continue on with your life and find someone worthy of your time. I am very open with my feelings…. I realize that I have issues with self confidence and am trying really hard to feel more confident…. Unfortunately the rules are an ugly truth.

Im a happy camper now by living religiously by them. The promises are being manifested in my life. Sabrina Alex you have been a great mentor in my life so far.

You have great. Advice to give to people. And I would just like to say thank you for your time. I have waked up an realized a lot in my past relationship. There are these strange creatures called introverts. One ex-co-worker once told me that people dating should be seeing each other every week. Arbitrary time limits do nothing but send away people who actually do like you. I believe in taking your time, no matter how long. Yes we may call first and initiate anything, a guy may like us and feel excited but..

He will never fall in love this way. Sad but true.. He even came outside to ask me how I was once! I love your site. You have some great advice. Are you ready? I am 63yrs old and learning to date again.

Guess what all the same rules still apply! We are all still talking about why do they not call or text…dated a wonderful guy once. He chased me online for a year. I finally said yes and we had an awesome time. Then nothing! I sent him a text no answer tried to keep it light. No answer Then I sent him atext saying how much I thought we enjoyed each other, how my life is too busy to be sending texts to a guy and not getting answers.

He finally text me and said he had been sick and stuff was going on at work. The next text to him no answer… I told him I was done. At our age I call this games. I know he likes me and he knows I like him. Help an old lady what do you think???? Keep your mind focused on other things that make you happy, and hey, maybe even try a new hobby? You can tell him about some great new recipe you tried, or how you just planted a small herb garden or volunteered at a local shelter.

This is just what I would do. I ultimately knew in my heart he would be back, so that probably made the not speaking part easier, but hey, maybe my experience can help you out. Good luck :. I am 61 and, like you, have found that men at ANY age are the same.

I think that women need to realize that men only live in the moment and are not multi-taskers. Women can be at work but also think about their man. I am dating someone who has been in love with me for 13 years, I was married at this time. He told me about his feelings, and how he has waited all these years for me he never married during this time. We see each other on the weekends but he never calls during the week. I expected to have this yes, even at my age whirlwind fairy tale romance.

But no. Simply stated. I know that sometimes it is extremely difficult to do, but we, as women, just have to be secure in ourselves, take things as they come and basically relax. If anything IS meant to be, it will happen — things have a way of working themselves out — probably not in the way we want or in the time we want, but eventually it will — trust yourself and your instincts.

Good words to live by in ANY aspect of your life. CR, such a wonderful post, thanks! Have self-respect. Do not rush things. What is meant to happen — will happen. Man is a chaser, not a woman. This is how it has been designed. There are exceptions, of course. If you ladies have rush to try things — go ahead and call him, see what happens.

Sabrina and that guy did not stay together btw. If having a guy for a few month is your plan, maybe calling him makes sense. Just remember, modern dating dynamics has produced a lot of complicated garbage people dwell on. Just like that. Thank you for your story. I feel that I am going through a very similar experience right now. I would still hear from him on and off every couple of months or close to a year, but I always wondered why is he contacting me?!

The time we hung out after the initial coffee get-together, I noticed he was really nervous around me and conversation became a little forced and boring and both of us wanted to call an early night, but we ended up seeing a movie waaay later than we had planned.

But this last time we hung out, the feeling has been a little bit different. He gave me a hug for the first time since I had known him, and I felt sparks just from hugging him.

Judging from the smile and look he gave me, I felt that maybe he felt something too. Aw, this was a very nice post. Spending some time and actual effort to make a really good article… but what can I say… I put things off a whole lot and never seem to get nearly anything done. Waiting for the call is absolutely the worst feeling wver. Ive met his family and everything. I kind of confrontws him about it and he said he missed me. I came back to town and he even missed work for two days to be with me.

At the end of those days he told me to call gim when I got home and I forgor so he twxted asking if I was ok. I decides to stop texting and calling. I really donr know what ro do. Hey everyone. God bless you all. Its like you read my mind! You seem to know so much about this, like you wrote the book in it or something.

I think that you could do with ssome pics to drive the message home a bit, bbut other than that, this is great blog. I went on a date with a guy on saturday via online dating site.

We had good banter through emails, and met two weeks after that. The date was great, I could tell he was really into me, and he even extended the date to have dinner. He paid for the meal I insisted to split, he refused , he was really interested in me asking me about my family, goals etc and we exchanged funny stories about childhood and life.

He was like putty in my hands. Anyway as the date came to a close by getting taxi together he was the first stop he paid for the fare, hugged me and kissed me on the cheek.

He looked at me through the window an said speak soon twice. Twenty minutes later he text me saying he had a lovely evening and thanked me. I sent him a text message saying I enjoyed the night etc. So now what? What should I do next? Omg same story here but then after 2 days he did not call me, i think its because i told him that i was going to spend time with my friend who came to visit me from far away but then i was like why he does not message me.

Then i messaged him, after few secs he answered me and I even lied to him that my friend went away so then he can ask me out. But till now, he does not call me and i already said to myself i wont call him. But i saw on his facebook he is out with his friends. Only guys he was with…. I dont know what to do. I really like him so much. This was awhile ago but I met a guy when we were home on summer break from college. I was working two jobs and he had to wait a month before I had a day off from both jobs to even go out.

We had a blast and decided that we would meet up again during Christmas break we both went away to school one on east coast one on west coast. He was very happy that I called him. We ended up dating for 5 great years! Heck yeah! Are men really that fake? Ella, he sounds like a travelling salesman to me. Did he get sex? If not, that may be why he is showing no interest. I knew a guy who sent good morning texts to many women at once!

I being one of them. So annoying. He could also be married or have a live in supply girlfriend. I would not waste my time even bothering to worry about someone like this. I never have given them my body unless married and I am glad I stuck to this rule! A little hand holding and kissing is all they get unless I have the ring on my finger and the license recorded!

Are you of this same thinking? I am now a widow who has been looking for the right man and think I found him on a Christian dating site. He is handsome, tall, slim, a cowboy, and very respectful of honoring God in our relationship. I really like him! I hope you find the right guy too! Hi, thx for the reply. So as an outsider, let me ask if he set something firm for a second date or did he just mention the idea?

Let him call you sometimes too. I know that we live in this e-communication age but letting a guy call you and then saying you appreciate it is also good to do. If he keeps texting let him know you enjoy hearing from him via text but it would feel good to hear his voice sometimes as well. And see what he does.

It gives him more to do to pursue you. And personally I no longer believe in initiating contact with a guy before a committed relationship has formed. Thx for your reply! Well he asked me if I wanted to see him again. Like I wanna write him but then again I dont want to seem needy but I rarely ever text him first… so i dont know.

Personally if a guy I like does this, I wait to hear from him even if it meant I would have to risk missing a date. If I like him a lot, I want to have him work and show him he should firm up instead of leaving me hanging.

Never the day of though. I wish I had known you were still available. It works if they are interested; you just have to show them how to treat you. So me and my two friends went to a local bar and had a few drinks together. While sitting outside I noticed a guy sitting alone smoking a cigarette. He was really cute and didnt appear to have showed up with anyone so I struck up conversation with him.

Right off the bat we really hit it off. He was super friendly, and even let me have a few of his cigarettes while we chatted. We had so much in common, he happened to grow up in the same city as me etc.

He was soo funny, and really easy to get along with. He even stuck around and hung out with me and my friends just sharing stories, and getting to know each other for about 30 min after he finished his drink. I mean he could have left, right? So , me and my friends are about to leave to go to another bar and I really like this guy so I asked him for his number and he said of course!!.. I was so excited to call him and I thought for sure he would be excited too!

I waited a week to call. On a friday night and he didnt answer. So two days later, I sent a text. And He has an Iphone so I was able to see wether or not he read it…and he did…. Guys who are indifferent about you will forget to call because they had a super busy week. Guys who are mad about you, and will treat you like a princess if given the chance, will call the next day.

I was treated like a princess with this man I was seeing for 1 month then he dumped me then took me back, but the way it is going is very strange. He took me for an expensive dinner sat night then drove me home as he was tired from work. He gave me a peck in the car and when he dropped me off his health is not good.

He bought me a bike, clothes, gave me cash, took me for many dinners, bought me food, bought me a crystal necklace with earrings set at a greek festival, told me Im very pretty many times, was very romantic but the thing is this man cannot have sex!

So he ended it after 1 month from this problem but hes stating it was also me. No plan for another date and that was 3 days ago and no call since! He normally only calls to take me out…. Gets better each time I watch as a reminder. Guys have the same anxiety as we do. I think they live in the moment more so and for my part, I know I tend to think a little farther ahead. Not helpful. Is this true? Is it true for us older gems in the dating arena, or the and somethings?

I currently met some one Ive known for a while, and we met for lunch. He mentioned to me what my schedule was like through the week, and how pretty I was at the time of the luncheon. What do I do? Please help. We were talking lots for the first few months, then a bit of a curveball — he sent me a really thoughtful birthday present.

We talked more and things seemed really good. But after a while things faded, I reached out a few times and it seemed that the conversation flowed for a little bit but then there would be another long gap before a text or call.

The longest being right now, I went on holiday during the Christmas holidays and he knew about it, even said he was sad I was leaving, but when I got back, not a peep! I am recently going through a divoice after 15 years of marriage. I have know this Man who is 11 years older than me for about 10 years. Well he is recently out of his releationship as I am mine.

We hooked up and have been seeing each other causally for almost 3 months. We both decided that due to us just coming out of long releationshlips that we would just enjoy each others company. I feel like I am the one always contacting him. However he does respond to me each time I contact him quickly. But If I do not contact him first it can go a week with out contact.

He seems happy to hear from he when I contact him. I guess I am confused. I do not know how to go about this since I have been out of practive for such a long time. Should I just keep doing what I am doing and contact him first? Sometimes he does contact me first but it is rare.

I do not want to come off as needy because I am not but I do like what we have going on and do not want to loose that. Any advise is appreciated. In the past he has been quite clear with the fact that he does like me. And still he keeps mentioning things like that certain songs or so reminds him of me.

We exchanged number 2 weeks ago and messages each other a couple of times in a sort of friendly, funny and a bit of flirty kind of way. Then a few days after I felt an impulse to ask him out and so I did.

We met the day after, for the first time, in real life. It was quite nice. He seemed a bit shy but he was very attentive towards me and all. He hugged me when we met and he gave me a good bye hug. When I came home I started to think about what had happen.

I started to fall for him badly, the more I thought about our meeting. But he logged out before I could reply. Then the days passed by and I felt like crazy. I decided to send him a message telling ; that it was fun seeing each other and that we have to do it again sometime.

No reply… but later that night he got online again and said he had gotten a message from me, but had troubles reading it as the display on his phone has broken down.

I told him what I had written about it was fun seeing each other and that we have to do it again…. I was expecting more enthusiasm. I just want him to be a close friend, you know hang out, do fun things together, laugh and just talk about anything.

Because I feel open and impulsive and brave for the moment. So should I contact him again or should I just sit there and wait and wait and turning crazy in the process? How should I proceed from here? Mirabelle, you were in communication with this man for 8 years off and on, and he never asked to see you?

Any available man who had an interest would have met you within a few weeks not years! Stop nagging yourself over him, join an online dating site, and realize there is a sea of men out there looking for the right lady. I joined a Christian dating site and have had my pick of men. No kidding! It certainly helps with withdrawals over the wrong man and those nagging thoughts where we blame ourselves for their fickleness!

Now I have a sweetie that I picked out from over six hundred profiles! We have now been dating for two months and he calls every night. A real gentleman and so handsome! You will find the right one too! If a shy guy talks about the past history of the two of you with you, does this means that he is still into you? Hi, I am new to this site and have been reading some of the comments trying to find one similar to my own situation but I thought best to just submit my own. Basically I met a guy 4 years ago and not long after, he wound up going to prison for something he was later acquitted of.

Anyway, I visited him throughout and assumed that we would be together when he came out. However this wasnt the case as he felt he needed to focus on his life when he came out and work hard to accomplish himself and be at the stage he needs to be. He says he will soon be where he wants to be and at that point he could consider giving me what I need.

He feels that he is not in a position to at the moment. Over the years we have come in and out of each others lives, him saying he will try harder to give me what I need but then it never seems to be enough.

The truth is, I am ready to settle down now, I want to do it all with him; holidays, living together, marriage, children etc. He has said in the past that I am too demanding, but I feel that I just know what I want and how I expect to be treated. I seem to have these ideals of how a man should treat a woman that he wants and respects.

We recently regained contact and seeing him has brought all of my emotions to the surface again. I am trying so hard to remain cool and not call or message him but it hurts when I want to hear from him and I dont, when I want to see him but I cant. Should I continue to wait? I am being too demanding? Surely two adults who care so much about one another should just be able to express their emotions naturally without always being so concerned about how it will be perceived.

Thanks in advance for your responses.